Security Guard

Andrew Fernandez arose this morning with expectations for a fairly normal Friday on the job. He hadn’t always wanted to be a security guard. He used to dream of becoming an FBI agent but realized that studying to be a cop would be more reasonable. Then the security job opened up at the Falls and work is work right? So he took the job and, for the most part, enjoyed it—except for the Segway.

Andrew could put up with the obnoxious teens and their Miami malls scavenger hunts. He didn’t mind helping kids find their parents when they got lost. But he hated the Segway. There was this one time when someone’s Chihuahua got loose and Andrew had to chase what he thought looked like a hairless rat. It was as if an invisible line connected to dog and the vehicle so that the tiny Chihuahua hauled Andrew and his Segway all over the mall. He tried to look dignified the entire time but came back to trills of laughter exuding from the other guards on duty that day; they would never let him forget it.

Today, Andrew will oversee a second-grade field trip to the theater—the third one this week. He will patrol the grounds all day and wait till about 4 in the afternoon before he moves inward toward the theater to make sure none of the tweens get into fists fights. He will deal with a couple of punks who think it’s funny to sneak into the woman’s bathroom and scare everyone in the stalls. He might recover one stolen item.

As he walks to the Segway to begin the day, he grimaces a little, but he endures it because at least he protects people, at least he matters.